Thursday, September 21, 2006

Random Musings

There are times when I feel like I am aging backwards. The aching knees and stiff muscles I wrestle each morning when flopping out of bed assure me that my cells are in fact still dividing, yet there are signs to the contrary. For example, my attention span is receding on pace with my hairline. I was much more capable of focusing when I was younger but now my attention scatters like buckshot. My mother often compares me to the toddler she babysits from time to time, "You're as bad as Nathan."

One result of this is that I cannot finish reading a book without having started another one, or two, or three. I am currently finishing two books yet for some reason headed over to my local chain Coffee, Books, Coffee, Music, and Coffee outlet today and bought three more books to begin reading. I have a business trip next week so the new additions to my library at least seem appropriate and justifiable. Anyway, whilst meandering about the store I came across the "Favorite Picks" table with several paperbacks stacked all over it. Looking them over I was extremely surprised to see at least five different books by Zane.

For the uninitiated, Zane is a female "erotica" author -- erotica really being nothing more than stenographed porn -- who has quite a following. Different strokes, etcetera, but I was taken aback at seeing these books out in the middle of a middle-class suburban store knowing what lie between those pages. I would never have known who Zane was were it not for a female coworker who read a few passages to a group of us at lunch one afternoon. (I am confident that was the closest the Wing Factory ever got to hosting a Vagina Monolgues recitation.) Suffice to say that we were all both amused and aghast at what we heard.

There were the obvious references to rippled abs and 9-inch members of course, but what struck me were the excessively detailed descriptions of various sex acts. Mainly, I had no idea that cunnilingus could be so, hmm, intricately executed? And for so long. Appreciation of the creative arts requires the suspension of disbelief so perhaps the author was simply exercising her creative license. On the other hand, I could just be woefully ignorant. Which would explain why many of my not-so-many sexual encounters are rarely optioned for a sequel. It is plausible.

Where was I, oh, so I wanted to stick around and see if any unsuspecting Soccer Moms would thumb through a copy and cause a stink about offensive material but no such luck. I had to get back to the office and blog or whatever.

4 Comments:

At 9/21/2006 3:45 PM, Blogger Dara said...

1) Now I see what I'm missing by reading serious literature.

2) I can't read one book at a time either. And I have yet to walk out of a bookstore -- ever -- with less than 3 books.

Which is also precisely the same number of books that I take with me on business trips. After years of travelling, I have developed a precise book method: Two go in the briefcase and one in the suitcase, just in case I either finish both of the others or lose a bag.

 
At 9/21/2006 4:59 PM, Blogger Irish Red said...

You don't have an attention problem - you've just learned to multi-task!

 
At 9/21/2006 8:33 PM, Anonymous Ryane said...

Three books? I have six books and three magazines on my bedside table right at this moment. Yeah, you are not alone. Mostly I have this many b/c I read really fast and so, want to always have a stash. And, I also can't leave a bookstore w/less than three. And here everyone thought books were going to go the way of the dodo bird in the early 90's. =-)

Dara--I like your book method!!

and PS: I would PAY to sit at Boring Generic Coffee Bookstore and watch uptight sorts flip out over erotica. HAHAHA.

 
At 9/22/2006 10:04 AM, Anonymous DCVita said...

That is too funny. I actually do the same thing. I start two or three books at once. I think I get really excited about all the new books that come out that I want to read them all...ranging from Thomas Friedman to James Patterson. One of these days, I will finish one of them :)

 

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