Thursday, August 03, 2006

Respecting The Comfort Zone

I have a philosophy that there are certain places where it is inappropriate to hit on women. Obviously you shouldn't be trying to pick someone up at a funeral or doctor's office or some other place like that but what I am specifically talking about are places where individuals go to deflate. Their Fortress of Solitude. Their Comfort Zones.

One of these Comfort Zones is the gym. I know there are many people out there with the complete opposite opinion, but I think it is tacky to hit on women at the gym. Granted there is a good deal of primal sexual energy present what with all of the sweating, contorting, and Under Armour but that alone does not make pickup lines acceptable. Besides the unappealing fact that I am wearing the same rotting gym shorts for the third day in a row because I am out of quarters for the washing machine and too lazy to get another roll from the Wachovia one block away, I wouldn't hit on a woman at the gym because I don't want to mess with her Comfort Zone.

There is a reason everyone walks around the gym purposefully with their headphones on. It's where you go to do your thing and be alone. You can singularly focus on one task, not be bothered by anything else, and work off some serious stress. Hitting on people at the gym (especially among regulars) creates an awkwardness that can eliminate all of the benefits of going to the gym. I've definitely seen "workout couples" that have "broken up" and are now always at opposite ends of the place avoiding eye contact with one another. It's pathetic. And it is bad juju if you are the cause of such awkwardness so it's best, I think, to avoid that altogether.

The other Comfort Zone you shouldn't mess with, is the morning coffee spot. I say "morning" specifcally becuase I'm not talkign about a place where people go to hang out but rather the source of your morning fix. It's another purposeful place where people are there to take care of business and leave. And of course, that is the spot where I almost broke my own rule this morning.

I get up early out of necessity on the weekdays and out of habit on the weekends. I wish I could sleep in but my internal chemistry just won't allow it anymore. It's a frustrating situation so I appreciate it when I meet others who are similarly afflicted. This morning pulling up to the java joint right by my office, where it is usually the same thin crowd at that hour, I saw a beautiful girl walking up who I had never seen before. Immediately the Dude in me started trying to take over and I rather obviously slowed my pace so I could get to the door at just the right time to open it for her. Once inside it was a battle of my internal selves over whether or not I would drop some really really lame come-on. But staying true to my ideals about not fucking with people's routines I kept my mouth shut, ogled briefly, got my coffee, and split.

This is probably a dumb rule and may explain why I am persistently single, but it's a rule nonetheless. But I have to say, I respect the hell out of a woman who gets up at 6am.

7 Comments:

At 8/03/2006 10:15 AM, Blogger Ryane said...

well, i think you could've made some small talk about the early hour, and still stuck to your principles. you hadn't ever seen her there before, right? so, you weren't necessarily infringing upon her comfort zone--she may not stop in there on a regular basis?

 
At 8/03/2006 11:00 AM, Blogger Jason said...

Hmm...I think you may be right. Dammit.

 
At 8/03/2006 2:11 PM, Blogger Jawn said...

There is something ironic about this considering it follows your "Broken Logic of the Male Psyche" post...

 
At 8/03/2006 3:59 PM, Blogger Ryane said...

test your theory--go back to that exact starbucks, at around the same time...and see if you see her? and not necessarily on the same day...just randomly pick a day, but go at the same time. in the immortal words of Wayne Campbell: it could happen!

 
At 8/04/2006 7:27 AM, Blogger Jason said...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, who said it was a Starbucks? I guess my gender nuetral use of the term "java joint" was pretty transparent. Anyway, I am there at the same time everyday so I maaaaaay turn the charm on if she ever shows up again.

 
At 8/04/2006 3:35 PM, Blogger Ryane said...

oops! sorry--i don't know why i wrote Starbucks...

 
At 8/04/2006 4:13 PM, Blogger Jason said...

Because it was a Starbucks...I was trying to conceal the fact that I go there every morning. Cursed convenience!

 

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