Monday, July 31, 2006

Broken Logic of the Male Psyche

"We pursue that which retreats from us."

Donal Logue said that in the Tao of Steve and I believe he was paraphrasing Heidegger. Essentially, people want what they cannot have. It's a basic observation and we've all seen examples of it a thousand times before. However there are men of a certain ilk (whose modus operandi maaaaaaay be discerned from reading this blog from time to time) who will take this philosophy, actually it's not a philosophy I guess but rather a theory of behavior, to its illogical conclusion.

To wit; let's say that on one particular day a guy runs into someone he hasn't seen in a long while. Maybe they hooked up in the past and it didn't go much beyond that but for some reason she decided to get in touch with him again (out of the blue). It's pretty obvious what is happening but he's a little wary, not completely interested. "Why not," you ask, "it's a Sure Thing." Well, let's move forward and see.

Now let's say that on another day this particular guy runs into another young lady from his past. In her case, they went out a few times, he was into her, but he was inexplicably (although hardly unexpectedly) shown the door. So when the two see one another at a social engagement hosted by a mutual friend there is awkwardness on his part but they feign a genuine-ish interest in each's recent goings on, yet all the while he is thinking to himself, "Goddamn she looks good. How did I fuck this up?"

Two women. Pick one. (OK, in reality there are many many options here but for the purposes of this particular "fictional scenario", the choice is binary. One or the other.) Logic would dictate that he play the percentages. Between someone who would have you and someone who would not, you go with the Sure Thing. Right? With the alternative being your old buddy Harry Palmer, why be alone? Well friends, it unfortunately does not work that way because "we pursue that which retreats from us." So instead of spending some time reconnecting with a very nice girl who is obviously into him, our subject will instead choose to sulk a bit and pine away for the one that got away. Or as one friend might eloquently put it, "think himself out of getting laid." Perhaps.

There is no moral or greater lesson to this little exercise other than this one point, hard-to-get actually works. I'll probably lose my Man Card for saying this but ladies if you are into a guy and you want him to come after you, there's a very strong chance that if you make yourself unavailable to him the sky is the limit when it comes to what he will do to have you. Sound stupid, pathetic, and fucked up to you? It is. Welcome.


At 7/31/2006 10:36 AM, Blogger DCVita said...

HA! Yah, I think we all really kind of knew that- you just reaffirmed it. It is unfortunate, but we do that alot- tend to fall for the guys that are not all that available either. Go figure!

At 7/31/2006 12:43 PM, Blogger Jason said...

I think everyone, at least once in a while, prefers forbidden fruit to the low-hanging variety.

At 8/03/2006 8:35 AM, Blogger Ryane said...

so then--what should happen if a girl strays (accidentally) into the 'too available' gray area? any way to recover? or is mandatory ignoring and unavailability the only way?

At 8/04/2006 7:17 AM, Blogger Jason said...

My theory doesn't neccessarily apply to an ongoing thing; it's more of a Crossroads decision. I don't know. All I can say is be coy, but don't be too unavailable. Whatever, we're all idiots.


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