Corporate Noose

I was scrambling madly about my apartment this morning in search of the paper bag in which I stuff all of the neckties that I never wear -- which would be every single tie I own. 85% of them are novelty ties and the Tom & Jerry playing in a dixie band tie, the Gibson SG-shaped tie, the numerous Grateful Dead and Jerry Garcia ones, or the kukui nut bolo tie just won't cut it. The VP's from the Seventh Floor are gracing us with their presence today and I was personally told that "program managers need to dress the part" and that means wearing a tie. I could almost see the word bubble that read "Go fuck yourself," forming in the room between myself and this individual. I hate wearing a tie. I have made a career of avoiding them.

It's not that I am a slob or don't like to dress nicely but rather I just don't feel the need to tie a knot around my neck in order to signify that I am prep'd for the occasion. I buy shirts that look good with an open collar. I buy blazers that complement a multi-tone shirt. I know how to dress and I disagree that the lack of an incidental piece of "men's furnishing" somehow suggests casual indifference.

One of the perks of engineering is that one typically does not have to deal with this sort of bullshit. The results, the functionality, are what counts. But sometimes you end up in a position you never wanted. You find yourself smiling at people you can't stand, pretending that real problems are just fine, eating catered lunches when there is work to be done, and looking underneath your bed for a necktie you were never supposed to wear.