I want to write a book

I want to write a book but I have nothing to write about. I want to write a book because I someday want to have my thoughts referenced and analyzed in the same fashion I treat the thoughts of others. It is a pure exercise of ego that has more to do with the post-benefits than anything literary, romantic, or true. I have no idea what this book would be about but I know how I want it to read.

I want to write word upon witty word and sound like Nick Hornby or Chuck Klosterman or Hunter Thompson and fool people into thinking that I am an ironic and original voice. I want to have a paperback novel with interesting cover art and my name in the bottom right-hand corner with ambiguous praise qouted from the Washington Post Book World and The Onion AV Club printed on the back underneath an air-brushed picture of me looking cool in a place I could never afford to be. I want to be able to refer to myself as a "writer" because typing on the internet is a far cry from writing. I want to have my imagination optioned so that I can travel to Los Angeles, sit in on casting calls with empty-headed waitress-actresses and have a studio executive tell me that "Phillip (Seymour Hoffman) loved the book, really sees himself in the lead role but is currently committed to Wes's (Anderson) next project."

I actually had an idea for a film once but it is so lame I think I'll save that for another post.