Friday, May 19, 2006


The following is the frankest answer I have ever received from a female friend in response to a question regarding the...complexities, yes, complexities of the female psyche. We hadn't talked in a while and were catching up on things and of course when queried about my love life I turn into the spigot that won't shut off. After positing the standard sweeping "bitter guy" generalization about women (cloaked within a rhetorical interrogative) I get:
Yes, actually, in all honesty, all women our age are slightly crazy.
Conceptions (whether correct or not) that we are really getting old and should
be setteled down by now are in constant battle with the fact that we may not be
ready for that yet. Thus we are constantly walking a tightrope of what we
actually feel and what we think we are supposed to want/feel. Last time I was
home, at least 4 different men asked me if I was worried that I'm not married
yet. This is what I'm talking about. So when considering a new guyat
this point, there is a very delicate balance between knowing that he is open to
marriage as some not too distant point, and knowing that we will also be
guaranteed complete freedom to do what we please (since that desire is why we're
not already married to begin with). Sooooo you see, no one could possibly
give off the vibe that they can guarantee both things and, therefore, the plight
of the 28-year old single woman is to fly from not-quite-right guy to
not-quite-right guy until we totally subcumb to the marriage pressure, have a
complete breakdown and marry the first guy who asks.
To be sure, I think this response has more to do with a degree of exasperation over her current long-term relationship than anything else so I am taking it with a pound of salt. However I was taken aback because usually when I get frustrated about dating, look for reasons other than myself as to why it's so tiresome, and ultimately blurt out "Are all women crazy?" the responses are more along the lines of "You're an asshole" or "Maybe it's the women you choose" or "Your mom really screwed you up."

True, false, or just marginally out of scope I was so happy to read that because for at least a little while longer I can carry on deluding myself and believing the explanation, "Really Jason, it's not you it's me." Of course it is.


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