Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Maybe it's my car.

It just occurred to me that the last three times I have been dumped, blown off, or stared over the precipice of a terminating relationship I have been sitting in my idling automobile. Each and every time, I was dropping off some young lady at the end of the evening and listening to disquistions on the Need For Space or waning interest in further my car. And now in a desperate attempt to convince myself that it can't be me that's the cause of these relationships that burn out like sparklers I've come up with a new hypothesis; maybe it's my car.

Is it possible that my vehicle has some hex, or bad juju, or simply was not manufactured for sustaining a relationship in the metro area? It beats the hell out of the alternatives. Let's look at some of the evidence. I drive a Jetta which on numerous occasions I have been told is the automible of choice for high school cheerleaders. Strike One. The soundtrack to every one of these little epsisodes is the sad-bastard indie rock that's always spinning on my car stereo. Strike Two. (Though in all fairness, what girl wouldn't be creeped out by hearing Teenage Fanclub's "Ain't That Enough" three times in one night.) When the weather is warm I refuse to use the A/C and instead drive around with the sunroof open and all the windows completely down (except for those goddamned kiddie-proof windows in the back) with the wind whipping into the cab competing for audio dominance with the stereo. Strike Three?

Maybe it's not the specific car, but just me driving a car in general. If that's the case then I'm fucked. I'd love to start walking everywhere but the DC Metro area has me over a barrel on that one. It's too big and there isn't sufficient public transportation to get me everywhere in a timely fashion. I'm one of the few people lucky enough to live within walking distance of a metro stop but odds are any woman I meet is not. Having her pick me up at the "intersection of Wilson and Highland at the top of the escalator" would more than likely doom any first date. Bicycling is out of the question as I have made fun of way too many people on bikes and the ultimate irony of me pedaling down the street could be potentially lethal. Cabs are pricey and as inefficient as the metro given the sprawling landscape of the area.

I don't know. There aren't many alternatives but I might have to give the boot to the theory that my car is screwing up my love life. It looks like I have to own a car in order date and the car can't be the cause of my dating disasters because there's no way I've done anything in life bad enough to be stuck in that sort of Catch-22. So the car isn't my problem. I'll have to come up with something else because it sure as hell can't be me; I'm charming as fuck.


At 5/10/2006 9:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please tell me that you use AC in the summer. Becuase in DC the humidity is so lethal that I would clearly run from any guy who did not use AC. It kills the hair. btw- this is your lives in LA but grew up in DC fan. Any suggestions for concerts this weekend? I am coming home for a fleeting visit and you always seem to know what is hot in the indie scene

At 5/11/2006 8:53 AM, Blogger Jason said...

Let's see, the "see and be seen" event of the weekend will be Eric Hilton of Thievery Corporation spinning at Eighteenth Street Lounge. It will be an absolute mob scene and likely not worth the trouble. The show to see, unfortunately for you, is Monday night's Pretty Girls Make Graves show at the Black Cat. I'm psyched for that one.

As for AC, I try not to ever use it but would certainly acquiesce upon request. Hope you have a good visit back here in Chocolate City.


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