The "Appetite" Rule
Ah, the differences in age among those who are dating; or what the nerd in me likes to refer to as Age Deltas.
By some coincidental confluence of circumstances (how's that for a nice bit of alliteration?) the topic of age and dating has come up many times in recent discussions with friends. This past weekend someone asked me who was the, relatively, "oldest" person I had ever dated -- I was 25, she was 33. A few weeks ago I caught up with a friend who for well over a year dated a man almost 20 years her senior. And just prior to that I had a very interesting conversation with a female confidant of mine who suggested that if I am going to half-heartedly engage in blase dating situations, I should do so with women younger than me. The point being that due to biological concerns, callously stringing along women my age is tantamount to "wasting eggs" -- a solid point, indeed.
Now being in my 30, I am more conscious of my age and the age of the women that I meet. As the benchmarks of my Pop Culture Baseline remain static and time marches on, I become more and more anachronistic. "Who's Kelly Kapowski?" "That Transformers movie is based on a cartoon?" But you will get no argument from me that the fellas have it far better than the ladies when it comes to getting older and still being out there in the mix. If I "date up" or "down" it is regarded by my peers as some sort of lascivious conquest...not so for my female counterparts.
Anyway, I came up with what I have dubbed The Appetite Rule for determining the appropriateness (or inappropriateness) of the age gap between myself and some young lady whom I meet. You can adjust the metrics of the rule to suit your age, tastes and generation but the key is to pick a significant album from your formative years. Something that moved you. Then ask yourself, How old was this person when album X was released? For me, it's Appetite For Destruction. Therefore I have to ask myself, How old was she in 1987?
Recent application of the rule has induced several "oh, shit" moments for me. Give it a try sometime.
posted by Jason @ 7:42 AM
5 comments
5 Comments:
Not sure if I can get behind the "Appetite" rule as that would put my squeeze in her pre-teen era while I has a teen. Not exactly socially acceptable.
If you are looking for an objective standard to gauge the reaction of your friends to a perspective steady I recommend the "1/2 + 7" equation. For you that would put the floor at 22.
That means the bars are no longer safe for you as you can no longer relay on the bouncers to keep the young'ns away.
"If I 'date up' or 'down' it is regarded by my peers as some sort of lascivious conquest...not so for my female counterparts."
I couldn't disagree more.
For me, it's the Kurt Cobain question. If you were not at least in high school when he died, you are too young for me. And if you were too old to care, you are clearly too old.
Dating at the age of 30 is dangerous for women. If you date too young - which I personally believe hovers right around 25 - you're lucky if you get a guy who is over kegstands, but even if he is, there's likely some other immaturity issues. If you date a guy too 'old' - which for me is starting around 36 these days - then you wonder if you were to actually "settle down" with him, how old would HE be when you start having children, or what if you're not sure you want to settle down. Does he want to b/c he's older and the biological clock is ticking (b/c oh yes, they exist for men)?
As a 30 year old, I think I've struck age gold in the 28-32 range. But that's just me.
umm..that was a mean exercise! Ouch. ;-)
Post a Comment
<< Home