Life Lessons

Following my experiences at Wolf Trap last night, please allow me to share a list of what I have learned from Huey Lewis:

1. Back To The Future is one of the fucking greatest movies of all time -- which therefore implies that Robert Zemeckis may be an idiot savant.

2. I am vindicated, so put your 20-sided dice in the air and wave 'em round like you just don't care. Why? Because it is in fact, hip to be square.

3. I very much enjoy watching young girls get drunk and dance.

4. White people cannot dance (except for Gene Kelly and maybe Donnie Wahlberg).

5. Sports still holds up.

6. I will someday be in a band called The Pinheads.

7. People who disagree with item #1 have no soul.

8. Indie rock kids who cannot appreciate the skill of a polished studio musician have no class.

9. I do not care what anyone says, a DeLorean would have been an AWESOME stage prop.

10. "Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn't take Lorraine out that he'd melt my brain."

On a wildly divergent yet ultimately related topic, I am so glad to have partaken in bachelor party festivities that did not involve any strippers. Perhaps I am maturing (getting old) but I no longer have any interest in the last link of the sex industry food chain -- 1. Prostitution, 2. Cable Porn, 3. Internet Porn, 4. Stripping. Call me prude but I think my dollar bills are far better spent on beer and internet jukeboxes.