What Would Miss Manners Do?
According to the display racks at Target, Starbucks, and my other corporate consumption troughs, Annual Gift Exchange Day will "soon" be upon us. Normally this type of thing has no effect upon me because my Xmas shopping list is the same every year: something for the 'rents, something for my sister, and a few gag gifts for my buddies. Year in and year out this list has remained without variegation...until now. For whatever reason, be it fate or a healthy maturing, I have finally broken a longstanding personal dating record by staying with someone for longer than 4 weeks. Yes, I am 30 and heretofore the longest "relationship" I have been in is 4 weeks. But my debilitating case of Peter Pan Syndrome is for another (several) post(s).
The issue at hand today is, what do I get my lady friend for Christmas? What's the protocol? What's expected? What would Miss Manners do? I am so fucking addled that I have turned to the interweb to solve my dating dilemma. So I ask you, People of the Blogosphere, "got any ideas?" Actually, what I am really looking for is some perspective. How does one approach these "significant holidays" within the context of a new relationship? In order to help you answer this question for me, allow me to set the paradigm:
Length of Relationship: 3 months (to date)
Dating Status: serious
Long Term Potential: high
Themes Conveyed by Gift: fun, bright future, this is a good thing, etc.
Waddayathink?
posted by Jason @ 12:30 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
A bracelet or necklace conveys, "I like you. I'm not afraid of buying you jewelry - thus I am not afraid of commitment should this work out. At the same time, this box shape cannot be confused with a ring, unlike earrings, so you know what's inside." Just take note of what she wears more (silver, gold), what size she wears (delicate or chunky), and cruise by Overstock.com or BlueNile.com. I will make appropriate suggestions for a fee.
The prior post is mostly accurate except the poster is lying through her teeth when she recommends Overshock and BN. What she really means is 'fannys. You know the one that uses the particulaty collored boxes that are gifts all on their own, not to mention whatever you decide to fill them with.
The other thing is tickets. Whether she likes opera, roller derby, or Alan Greenspan lectures, if you can link one of her interests to an upcoming event it communicates you're into accompanying her into the future.
CT, the relationship is 3 months old. Tiffany's is out on a commitment limb at that point.
I vote for a weekend away--you find the place (nice bed and breakfast or swanky hotel) and an event or two to occupy your time (Broadway show, Amish country, etc.), but leave the date up to her. You carefully wrap the brochure of the place/event so that there is a respectable present to bring to the table during the actual gift exchange.
Messages conveyed: 1) I like you enough to tolerate--and perhaps even enjoy--your presence for a whole weekend, 2) I am serious enough to plan things several weeks into the future, and 3) I know how important it is to bring a physical present to the table, even if the gift is an intangible thing in the future.
It also secretly says "if this goes horribly awry in the next two weeks, I can cancel the plans and spend the money instead on an Xbox".
I wouldn't go too overboard - that means no jewelry, or anything that is going to cost you in excess of $150.
I'd make her a really good mix CD, a hardcover book that you think she would really like, and tickets to a (local) show of a band she enjoys.
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