Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Overcoming the Static Coeffecient of Friction

ACME Corporation

I am writing this letter to give notice of my resignation effective 13 October 2006. No wide eyes and no mouths agape; this was a Long Time Coming. It has been six-and-a-half years since my first day, the same day that I knew this would be but a brief layover as I sussed out whatever the meaningful thing was that I was going to do with my life. Six-and-a-half years plus one irrelative M.A. later and I am finally leaving to do the exact same thing somewhere else.

At some weary milestone along this road I learned two important things; my job does not have to be the supreme fulfillment of my heart's potential and I am very good at what I do. And at some weary milestone along this road, this company did not feel right anymore. I do not know if it is necessarily wrong but I do know that the sense of ease and enjoyment once found here, the same that allowed me to learn the aforemention lessons, is now gone. The hallways are sad, the offices sit shivah for our friends who have almost all left, and the lunatics have finally seized control of the asylum. It is time to go.

I will and already do miss my friends who I have spent so many hours bullshitting with. I will miss knowing every little thing that goes on. I will miss knowing who to trust and who not. I will miss the receptionist who wraps my Christmas presents. I will miss the facilities people who do me favors without the requisite paperwork. I will miss my missed opportunity to tell the Seventh Floor how desperately this company circles the drain.

I will not miss the feeling of doom and malaise that strikes every soul to cross our flourescent threshold. I will not miss being bored into hourly pacing the clock hands. I will not miss the obtuseness which plagues our contract proposals nor the utter uselessness that defines our middle management. I will not regret my decision to leave.

This was the best worst job I ever had...we were perfect for each other.

With Exasperated Sincerity,



At 9/26/2006 8:50 PM, Anonymous Ryane said...

"I will miss my missed opportunity to tell the Seventh Floor how desperately this company circles the drain."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I love that...congrats on the new job.

At 9/27/2006 9:26 AM, Blogger Dara said...

This is classic. Although, when I write mine, it's going to be "See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya."

Last year, when I was in the midst of changing jobs, someone wise said to me that sometimes you just need to replant yourself for the sake of your root system.

Good luck with that.

At 9/27/2006 10:44 AM, Anonymous DCVita said...

So I was contemplating how I was going to write my resignation letter. I think I am just going to cut and paste- if you don't mind?! That was PERFECT!

At 9/28/2006 4:15 PM, Blogger Jason said...

Ah, but what turn in on my actual letter tomorrow? I am afraid that my niche-y little industry is far to incestuous for me to burn the bridge completely. But whatever I come up with in the morning will undoubtably have a bit of "me" for them to remember.

And Vita, my licensing fee is a mere 8% of any future dividends.


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