Panic

The panic set in and I pulled the ripcord and as a result my Xmas list just got shorter by one name. (My previous post seems so foolish now.) It's strange to me that immediately afterward I feel compelled to write. I haven't had this compulsion in so long, maybe it's therapeutic. Who knows.

In the end, over the last three months I have set all manner of new personal dating records. I actually dated someone this long. I said "I love you" and meant it. I broke someone's heart. And I don't even know why but what's worse, I don't think she does. It's horribly unfair.

The worst part however is the inescapable sense of Relief that has overcome me. Is it because I ended something I knew could not last or because I am just that addled and unable to sustain? Jesus, I hope it's the former rather than the latter. I thought that I would have it all figured out at 30. Maybe I do but apparently my subconscious and I are not on speaking terms. Why the silent treatment? Whatever the case, 2008 and will begin much as 2007 did; single, ready yet terrified to mingle.

Elizabeth, I don't think I'll be RSVP'ing +1 to the wedding...but I am excited nonetheless.

What Would Miss Manners Do?

According to the display racks at Target, Starbucks, and my other corporate consumption troughs, Annual Gift Exchange Day will "soon" be upon us. Normally this type of thing has no effect upon me because my Xmas shopping list is the same every year: something for the 'rents, something for my sister, and a few gag gifts for my buddies. Year in and year out this list has remained without variegation...until now. For whatever reason, be it fate or a healthy maturing, I have finally broken a longstanding personal dating record by staying with someone for longer than 4 weeks. Yes, I am 30 and heretofore the longest "relationship" I have been in is 4 weeks. But my debilitating case of Peter Pan Syndrome is for another (several) post(s).

The issue at hand today is, what do I get my lady friend for Christmas? What's the protocol? What's expected? What would Miss Manners do? I am so fucking addled that I have turned to the interweb to solve my dating dilemma. So I ask you, People of the Blogosphere, "got any ideas?" Actually, what I am really looking for is some perspective. How does one approach these "significant holidays" within the context of a new relationship? In order to help you answer this question for me, allow me to set the paradigm:

Length of Relationship: 3 months (to date)
Dating Status: serious
Long Term Potential: high
Themes Conveyed by Gift: fun, bright future, this is a good thing, etc.

Waddayathink?

The Hater

During my usual check-in with the 9:30 Club's homepage, this little nugget caught my eye:

Jonathan Davis of Korn doing a Unique Acoustic Performance
w/ Godhead
MON. NOV. 19
$35.00

Things that make you go, hmm. Unique is certainly one way to put it but I think that tragi-comic might be the more accurate term to best adjectively describe such an event. Granted, my opinion is hardly objective since I believe Korn to be one of the most useless and a-musical pieces of sludge to litter the airwaves but I do recognize that the band's "music" provided a certain visceral charge for its listener base. In fact, I will recognize that as Korn's only redeeming quality as an entertainment act.

So when you strip away all of the 7-string guitar droning, the dangling atonal bass strings, and the thrashing drum beats, what exactly are you left with?

The raw central essence, the elusive double-helix, the primordial ooze from whence rap-metal came? I doubt it.

A unique acoustic performance? Technically, maybe.

Something gone horribly awry? Yeah, I think so.